


Allergies

by wendlaswound



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Drabble, Gay, M/M, Musicals, angsty, canon with the musical, sorta lol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-21
Updated: 2017-02-21
Packaged: 2018-09-25 23:41:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,234
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9852224
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wendlaswound/pseuds/wendlaswound
Summary: Tbh idk what this is. Pretty angsty. Sorta short. Tumblr request. It was my first Evan Hansen fic. I tried.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Follow me on tumblr (revolutionarywarlock) to request more things like this, hopefully they will get better as I get more used to these characters.

            Jared Kleinman was afraid of bees.

            He was actually afraid of most things in nature, like sharp rocks, getting lost in the woods, the seasons changing, tropical storms, that icky, itching feeling you get when you’ve been outside for a while, bugs, and on and on. The threats were simply endless.

            But he was afraid of bees in particular because he was allergic to them. _Deathly_ allergic. And bees were outside. So, Jared, with the wellbeing of his life in mind, usually stayed inside. He didn’t mind winter as much, but he’d also never really been a fan of the cold. And of course, Evan never went outside during the winter; it only made his, what Jared suspected was depression, worse.

            All of this made his relationship with Evan “tree-hugger” Hansen more than a little difficult.

            Evan loved being outside. At one point or another in their acquaintanceship, Jared had stopped asking where he was; he knew within a guess or two. And wherever Evan was, he was always alone. And Jared sometimes felt bad about that. But then. The bees.

            He stayed inside.

            Jared had a very hard time understanding Evan’s whole obsession, but that simply had to be because they were polar opposites in regards to the outdoors. And it wasn’t like they had much else to bond over. Evan was no good at the video games Jared liked, what he had spent hours upon hours mastering as a kid instead of playing in the pollen-infested air. Their tastes in music and books couldn’t have been farther apart. They were never in the same classes in school.

            And then there was Zoe Murphy.

            Jared was pretty sure that anyone that had two eyes and a single brain cell could tell how badly Evan had been crushing on her since freshman year.

            Jared thought she was a spoiled goody two-shoes with a stick up her butt and a personality like a soggy paper towel, though sometimes he could understand the aesthetic appeal of her.

            The biggest issue with Zoe, though, wasn’t the fact that Jared borderline hated her; it was that Evan was in love with her.

            And Jared was sort of in love with Evan.

 

* * *

 

            “They’re going to think you were lovers. They probably already do!” Jared shouted to his (family) friend, trying to make it clear how bad of thing he’d done. On multiple levels.

            But it wasn’t like Jared was jealous or anything.

            Evan didn’t seem to notice Jared’s well-shrouded anger. His eyes were shifting back and forth across the floor as he recounted his visit to the Murphys, the letter, Connor’s suicide.

            “Just shut up for a second, okay?” Evan asked sternly, as if he couldn’t find it in himself to match Jared’s rudeness, but needed to be harsh.

            Jared would shut up when hell froze over.

            “I can’t _believe-_ “

            “I said shut up-“

            “How could you even expect-“

            “Jared-“

            “Evan, I think-“

            “SHUT. UP.”

            Jared did. Evan took several breaths before he even attempted to look up.

            “I know, I sort of screwed up. But… but, I think I could… I mean, I might-“

            “Say it, Hansen, I haven’t got all day,” Jared snapped and immediately regretted it, after catching Evan’s flustered expression deepen.

            Evan tugged at his cast once, then lowered his hands to his sides, his fists balled. “I think you could help me.”

            Jared hadn’t seen that coming. “With what?”

            “Helping me make it… _real_.”

            Once again, Jared was left momentarily speechless. “Like… _how_?”

            Evan shrugged, at once looking awkward that he now had to explain his intentions but confident now that Jared hadn’t immediately said no. “More letters, maybe emails, _something_ , I don’t know.”

            “Fake emails are child’s play.”

            “So you’ll do it?” It was the first time Evan had looked Jared directly in his eyes during their whole conversation. They were so hopeful, something Jared rarely saw in Evan, that he took a sharp breath in with shock. He could feel himself melting.

            “It will be nothing. I just hope you know what you’re getting into.” Jared hoped he knew, too.

            Evan shook his head, smiling. “Yes, I know. Thank you, Jared.”

            “None of that. Now, let’s go reinvent your dead boyfriend.”

            _Of course Jared would help Evan._

_He always would._

_Even if it broke his heart in the process._

_There was no medicine for some allergies._

       

* * *

    

            _Broke his heart, it did._

            And it had been going _so well_. Of course, Evan hadn’t been around Jared as much; he’d been with the Murphys instead. But when Evan had been with Jared, even when it was Connor Project related, he’d been _happy._ It was an Evan Jared had only seen when they’d been outside, in Evan’s element.

            So, he’d seen it very, very rarely.

            It made Jared happy too, but he ached for some odd reason that he couldn’t quite figure out. Like a bruise that went deeper than skin and never went away.

            And now it had all gone to hell. Evan was happy, but he wasn’t Evan. Well, he was still Evan, of course, but not an Evan Jared had ever seen before. With all the Connor talk, Jared couldn’t shake the image he’d created, tailored to phony perfection, of Evan and Connor together and only together. Only now the image was blurred, like it had been left out in the rain, and Jared couldn’t tell if it was two people or one, or none at all.

            “You know, Connor being dead is probably the best thing to ever happen to you,” Jared spat, and couldn’t believe he’d actually done it. The thought had been playing in his mind for weeks now, and he startled himself by hearing it out loud.

            “What?” Evan croaked. “How could you say that?”

            “I mean,” Jared fumbled for words, gesturing to Evan. “Look at yourself. You’re a completely different person. You’re, dare I say, _popular._ How does it feel, socially benefitting from a psycho’s suicide?!”

            “Jared, what the fu-“

            “But you seem just fine! Frankly, your transition is astounding. How do you do it? How does it feel, having Zoe Murphy there to cuddle you whenever you start to feel sad about you dearly departed friend? I guess, if you can’t have him, might as well go for his sister, why don’t you?!”

            “Jared-“

            “None of this is real, Evan! You are a fraud! These relationships you think you have aren’t real! You can’t build any kind of love on a lie! And I-“ Jared choked, unable to go on.

            He’d never been able to say the words.

            He wasn’t sure he could now either.

            Evan stared at him, open-mouthed, aghast. He brilliant eyes that Jared loved were tinged with anger.

            Jared took a beat before he tried to say more, but Evan caught him. “What – how, you honestly… I – _I_ ,” he stumbled.

            _Ah,_ Jared thought. _There he is._

            Jared took another moment, not hearing a word his friend said, and finally spoke what he hadn’t been able to say for years.

            “I was the one who loved you. It was never a lie. _I_ loved you…”

            Evan was actually crying now, softly, just the tears falling smoothly across his face.

            “… at least, I thought I did.”

            And he walked away, leaving Evan alone.

            Only after he realized that he was too did he feel a pang of regret.

 

* * *

 

            _No, some stings could not be healed._


End file.
